Mrs Brown's Boys: The new season
by nicholas.cornish2
Summary: Mrs Brown's Boys is one of my favourite shows ever, now I have started a fanfic about it, starring some new characters
1. Mammy's sixth son

I honestly can't believe that there are only 2 Mrs Brown's Boys stories (Counting this one)

Anything undelined is when someone breaks the fourth wall

DISCLAIMER: I do not own Mrs Brown's Boys

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Agnes was doing the washing up in the house. Winnie was there talking about Jacko.

"So if everything goes well, Jacko will be out of the hospital by the end of the week" said Winnie

"I'll believe it when I see it" said Agnes

"I gotta go Agnes, I was sent some new products to test" said Winnie before leaving

"Hello there, nice to see you again, you just missed Winnie talking about Jacko coming out of the hospital...yeah right, with his luck he'll get out of the building but something will cause him to go back in a fucking hour" said Agnes

Cathy enters.

"Morning Mammy" she said

"Good morning Cathy, did you sleep well last night?" asked Agnes

"Yes I did mammy, was Winnie just in here?" asked Cathy

"Yep, she said Jacko is coming out of the hospital...I'll believe it when I see it"

"By the way Mammy, Liam called yesterday, he said that he was coming over for a few days" said Cathy

"Liam's coming over?" asked Agnes

"Yes, and he's bringing Nick with him" said Cathy

"That's brilliant, I haven't seen Liam in years since he married Anne"

"I know, we all haven't seen him"

"I don't like Anne, she's a bitch" said Agnes

"We all know that, I gotta go to work now" said Cathy

Agnes walked into the living room, just as Grandad walked down the stairs.

"Morning grandad" said Agnes

"You seem happy today, normally you greet me by hitting me on the head with something" said Grandad

He sits down in his seat.

"Well I am happy today, Liam's coming" said Agnes

"Which one is he?" asked grandad

"He's the artist" said Agnes, she didn't literally mean that, Liam's career was to do with art, but he was really an art teacher

"Oh right, I hope he brings Anne with him" said Grandad

Agnes stands in silence befotre hitting him over the head with a tray.

==Later==

"I can't believe it, Liam's finally visiting" said Agnes

There is a knock at the door. Agnes answers it to reveal Mark, Betty and Bono.

"Hello son, did you hear?" asked Agnes

"Yeah, Liam's visiting" said Mark

Mark, Betty and Bono enter, in the kitchen are already Cathy, Rory, Dino and Trevor.

There is another knock at the door.

"That's them" said Agnes

She answers the door to reveal a tall man with brown hair and a mustache/beard.

"Liam, it's great to see you" said Agnes

"Hello Mammy" said Liam

"Is Nick with you?" asked Agnes

"Yeah he is, NICK!" said Liam

A teenage boy with short, brunette hair entered.

"Hello Nick, long time no see" said Agnes

"Hey granny" said Nick

"So, why don't you make your way to the kitchen?" asked Agnes

"Alright" said Liam

Nick and Liam entered the kitchen to see everyone.

"Hello everyone" said Liam

"Hey Liam, how have you been?" asked Mark

"I've been better" said Liam

"What's wrong?" asked Mark

"I'll talk to you about it later" said Liam

==Foley's==

Agnes is talking to Winnie.

"So Winnie, what happened to Jacko this time?" asked Agnes

"Nothing, he's in the house right now" said Winnie

"WHAT?"

"JACKO IS IN THE HOUSE RIGHT NOW!" yelled Winnie

"Winnie, Why are you fucking shouting?"

"Because you said 'What' so I assumed that you didn't hear me" said Winnie

Mrs Nicholson came over to them, she wanted to talk to Agnes at her house, but Agnes wasn't there, so she knew there was only one place she could be.

"Hello Agnes" said Hillary

"Hello Hillary, what do you want?" asked Agnes

"I just wanted to talk" said Hillary

"And we talked, now shag off" said Agnes

"I heard about your son Liam visiting you for a few days" said Hillary

"That's nice" said Agnes

"Don't toy with me Agnes Brown"

"Whatever"

"Anyway, I was curious if it was Ok if I could talk to him, I heard he was an art teacher and I need a family portrait of the Nicholson family done"

"No, you cannot talk with him"

"Why?" asked Hillary

"Because his wife is the only slapper that he should ever talk to"

"I'll pay him 100 euro"

"When can he start" asked Agnes

==Brown's house==

Liam is sitting on the settee, Nick was sitting next to him. Agnes walks through the door.

"Hello Liam" said Agnes

"Hey mammy, listen mammy, there's something I need to talk to you about"

"What is it?" asked Agnes

"Is it ok if me and Nick stay for a few extra weeks than we said?"

"Why son?" asked Agnes

Liam hesitates to answer

"Me and Anne are getting divorced" said Liam

"Excuse me a second"

Agnes enters the kitchen and starts to dance.

"So there is a chance that I'm never going to see her again?" asked Agnes

"Yeah" replied Liam

"YEEESSS! AH HA! I'M NEVER GOING TO SEE THAT BITCH AGAIN!" cheered Agnes

She re-enters the sitting room to see Liam and Nick staring at her unconfortably.

"Did I say that out loud?" she asked

"No, you shouted it out loud" said Nick

"Shit"

"Mammy, not infront of Nick" said Liam

Nick stares at Liam

"What?" asked Liam

"Dad, I'm 16" said Nick

"Anyway, why are you divorcing the queen B..." asked Agnes

"Well..." said Liam, before Agnes cut him off

"I-T-C-H?"

"Well, we were growing apart, we wanted different things, I wanted to bring the spark back into our marriage..." said Liam

"And what did she want?" asked Agnes

"She wanted to have sex with the security guard at the market" said Liam

"Difference is that she got what she wanted" said Nick

"Nick, that's your mother" said Liam

"I know" said Nick

"Well, you two can stay here as long as you like, as long as you feckin' like" said Agnes

"Thanks mammy" said Liam

"Now, it's getting late, I think we should get to sleep" said Agnes

"Ok" said Liam

The three went upstairs, but Nick stopped halfway.

"Granny, is it OK if I bring a guest over?" he asked

"Who did you want to bring over?" asked Agnes

"My girlfriend"

"Aw, of course you can bring her over" said Agnes

"Thanks Granny"

Nick went upstairs as Agnes turns her attention to the audience

"Well, 2 new people living here...I'm thrilled to have Liam back here...And if he gets married again, I hope it's to someone who will always make him happy, like how Betty makes Mark happy, or Maria makes Dermot happy, or Dino and Rory, or Winnie and Jacko...I still can't believe that he's out of the hosptial..." said Agnes before she was cut off by the phone ringing

"Hello, how do do do?" she asked

"Oh, Hi Winnie...what?...really?...well alright...see you tomorrow" she said

"Scratch that, Jacko's wheelchair ran over something and the landed on his arm...Cathy owes me 10 euro, goodnight" said Agnes, before the end credits roll, they were the same, except 2 things were added

**"Michael Lanaghan as Liam Brown"**

and

**"Nicholas Cornish as Nick Brown"**

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That ends that episode, only 5 more to go

**READ AND REVIEW**


	2. Mammy's custody

Time for chapter 2, and I would like to thank my friend and co-writer, Potatopotahto, for helping me with this chapter

DISCLAIMER: I do not own MBB

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Nick was sitting on the settee with a pretty girl with red hair and glasses sitting next to him with his arm around her. Agnes walked down the stairs.

"Hey Nick, who's this?" she asked

"Hey granny, this is my girlfriend, Leonie" said Nick

"Nice to meet you" said Leonie

"Nice to meet you too, you look just like me when I was younger" said Agnes

"Maybe in a past life" said Nick

There is a knock at the door, Agnes answers it to reveal Betty.

"Hello Betty, how's my favourite daughter-in-law?" asked Agnes

"I'm good Mrs Brown" said Betty

"Not you, I was talking about Maria" said Agnes

Nick and Leonie laugh at that.

"Maria's fine, anyway, I was wondering if you could take care of Bono for a few hours" said Betty

"Why? What's wrong?" asked Agnes

"Nothing's wrong, it's just that I'm heading to Donegal for the weekend" said Betty

"You don't wanna go to Donegal, it's full of sheep shaggers and hillbillies" said Agnes

Nick and Leonie laugh again

"Are you going to visit your parents?" asked Agnes

"Yeah" said Betty

"Sure, I'll take care of Bono, give your father me best..." said Agnes

Betty smiles and leaves.

"...if you can get him off the fucking sheep" said Agnes

Nick and Leonie burst out laughing and Agnes enters the kitchen.

"Hello there, well, looks like I'm taking care of Bono for a bit, this can't end well with Nick here...Bono doesn't like sharing his granny" said Agnes

She turns on the kettle.

"And that girl in the sitting room, she seems nice, I like her"

In the living room, Nick and Leonie are watching TV.

"You never told me your granny was so funny" said Leonie

"I didn't even know" said Nick

There is a knock at the door.

"I'll get it" said Agnes, the person that knocked was a tanned woman with short, blonde hair.

"Hello Anne" said Agnes

"Mum?" asked Nick

"Hello Mrs Brown" said Anne

"Hey there sweet cheeks" said Grandad

Anne rolled her eyes

"What are you doing here?" asked Agnes

"I'm here for Nick, he's my son and I deserve to take custody of him" said Anne

"If you think that that's happening then you can fuck off...actually, you can fuck off anyway" said Agnes

Liam enters the house through the back door.

"Mammy, I'm home" said Liam

He walks into the sitting room to see his ex-wife.

"What is she doing here?" he asked

"She says that she wants custody of Nick" said Agnes

"Then she can get lost because it isn't happening" said Liam

Anne walks upto Liam

"Listen you shitebag, I deserve Nick because I'm more responsible" said Anne

Everyone burst out laughing

"You? Responsible? Yeah right" said Liam

Anne was walking out the front door.

"I'll see you around you bastard" she said

She closes the door.

"Did you hear that mammy?" asked Liam

"Yes, I did, you are not a bastard" said Agnes

Buster Brady enters through the back door.

"Hello everybody" he said

"Well, you're not, but he is" said Agnes

Agnes walks into the kitchen.

"What do you want Buster?" asked Agnes

"Well, Dermot said that he wanted to talk to me, so here I am" said Buster

"Yeah right ya fecker" said Agnes

"It's true" said Buster

Dermot enters, wearing a bee costume.

"Hey Dermot, I need you to do me a favour" said Agnes

"Sure mammy, what is it?" asked Dermot

"Tell Buster to _buzz_ off" said Agnes

"Very funny" said Dermot

"Care for some tea?" asked Agnes

"Yes please mammy" said Dermot

"Would you like it with _honey_?" joked Agnes

"No thanks" said Dermot

Nick walks into the kitchen.

"Hey Uncle Dermot" said Nick

"Hey Nick" said Dermot

"Why are you dressed up as a bee?" asked Nick

"I work in promotions, I have to walk around in costumes and hand out samples, this one's for a new honey farm, I have to go around handing out tiny jars of it" said Dermot

Nick notices Buster.

"And who's he?"

"This is Buster, he's my best friend"

"More like worst friend" said Agnes

"Ma, that wasn't even funny" said Dermot

"Anyway Dermo, you said you wanted to talk to me" said Buster

"Yeah, but I'll talk to you later"

"Alright then" said Buster, before leaving

"I thought he'd never leave" said Agnes

"He was only here for a few minutes"

"A few minutes too many" said Agnes

==Winnie's house==

Agnes was talking to Winnie about Anne

"Really?" asked Winnie

"Yes, Anne tried to take custody of Nick" said Agnes

"That's terrible" said Winnie

"I know, Anne is a worse influence than Buster Brady" said Agnes

"That bad, huh?" asked Winnie

"Yeah, she actually called before I came over saying she was taking this to court" said Agnes

"Really, what does tennis have to do with this?" asked Winnie

"Winnie, not that type of court" said Agnes

"Oh, sorry" said Winnie

"Winnie, they say when you get old your mind is first to go, I guess it worked faster with you" said Agnes

"Oh well, so, when can I meet Nick?" asked Winnie

"I don't know" said Agnes

"So, we going to Foley's later?" asked Winnie

"Winnie, if we could go to Foley's would I be here?" asked Agnes

"Good point" said Winnie

==Brown residence==

Nick was in the kitchen, eating some sausages that Agnes cooked for him. Buster Brady entered.

"Hey kid" he said

"Hello" said Nick

"What are you doing here?" asked Buster

"Until me and my dad can find a new place, we live here, why are you here?" asked Nick

"I'm trying to talk to Dermot about a new get rich quick scheme" said Buster

"Really, I have alot" said Nick

"Like what?" asked Buster

"Well, ask someone for money, say it's to start your own business, they will give you alot of money for it, say that you will pay them back, ask another person for more money, but don't tell them about the first person, they will give you more money, you can use that to pay back the other person, give them more money, they will want to give you the money back so they can get interest again, keep it up for as long as you can" said Nick

"That's great, how did you come up with that?" asked Buster

"A TV sitcom" said Nick

"Which one?" asked Buster

"Sorry, BBC copyright rules say I can't tell you" said Nick

"Hey, why doesn't my granny like you?"

"Because she doesn't trust me" said Buster

A cameraman accidently walks through the room (MBB Running gag)

"...She's even having security cameras installed" said Buster

"Well, I'm off to the park" said Nick

"What for?" asked Buster

"I have a date with my girlfriend" said Nick

Nick leaves.

"I like him" said Buster

==Foley's==

Foley's had opened just a few minutes ago, Agnes and Winnie were sitting at their favourite table

"Well, when's the court date?" asked Winnie

"Tomorrow" said Agnes

Liam entered the bar.

"Mammy, I have great news" said Liam

"Jedward broke up?" asked Agnes

"No" said Liam

"Feck's sake" said Agnes

"Anne got arrested for trying to rob a newsagents, she can't attend the court date tomorrow, we win by forfeit" said Liam

"Really? That's great" said Agnes

"I know" said Liam

"Oh, by the way, my friend Hillary wants you to paint a family portrait of her family" said Agnes

"Ok" said Liam

"Care for a drink?" asked Agnes

"Sure, I'll have a gin and tonic" said Liam

"Drinks are over there" said Agnes, pointing towards the place to purchase drinks (I don't know what it's called)

Liam gets up to get his drink.

==Brown residence==

Nick walks through the door, with Leonie by his side

"That was fun" said Leonie

"Yeah" said Nick

"So, where are your family?" asked Leonie

"They said they were going to some pub called 'Foley's' and they won't be back till 9 o'clock" said Nick

Nick and Leonie sit on the settee.

"So, what time is it?" asked Leonie

Nick looks at his watch.

"Half 8" he said

"So, we have the house all to ourselves, for half an hour?" asked Leonie

"Yeah, I guess we do" said Nick

Leonie leaned in for a kiss, Nick deepened the kiss and Agnes and Liam entered the house, giving Nick and Leonie a shock.

"I thought you said we had half an hour" said Leonie

Nick looks at his watch.

"My watch is broken" said Nick

"Hello you two, has Bono arrived?" asked Agnes

"No" said Nick

"I thought that Betty said she was going to Donegal for the weekend" said Agnes

"It's Wednesday" said Nick

"Oh right" said Agnes

"Well, I'll see you tomorrow Nick" said Leonie

"Alright" said Nick

Leonie and Nick got up and walked to the front door, before Leonie left, Nick gave her a quick kiss on the cheek.

"Ah, young love" said Liam

Nick went upstairs.

"Well, it's getting late and I have work in the morning, goodnight Mammy" said Liam

Liam went upstairs and Agnes turned her attention to the audience.

"Well, I'm not taking care of Bono yet, on the bright side, the Irish justice system will take care of Anne..." said Agnes

"...and it looks like Nick already knows who he's spending his life with, she really seems like a nice lass...well, at least Bono doesn't have to wrestle with Nick over me yet, good thing too, because I don't want to attend one of my grandson's funerals, oh well, goodnight" said Agnes, the end credits roll, with 2 additions

**"LEONIE TODD AS LEONIE"**

and

**"TRACEY AFFECK AS ANNE"**

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Thank you for reading, join me next week for episode 3

**READ AND REVIEW**


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